Participants attend an advanced care planning workshop co-hosted by Capital City Village and Shalom Austin Jewish Family Service. Credit: Allison Teegardin
By Allison Teegardin
In May, Shalom Austin Jewish Family Service (JFS) hosted two well-attended events about an important topic no one wants to talk about but should – death. On May 20, in collaboration with Capital City Village, approximately 25 participants joined a hands-on advanced care planning workshop where they learned about palliative and hospice care as well as how to identify what matters most to them and take steps to ensure their wishes are honored. Two days later, a virtual event titled “Death Over Dinner” helped people learn how to begin the difficult conversation about death, specifically, what they wish for in their final days.
“How we end our lives is one of the most important and costly conversations Americans aren’t having,” Michael Hebb said. The Death Over Dinner Project was founded by Hebb in response to the startling statistic that, while 75 percent of Americans say they want to die at home, only 25 percent actually do. What is more, many bankruptcies in America are due to end-of-life expenses.
JFS Grief and Loss Therapist Maura Kinney, LCSW who co-facilitated the Death Over Dinner event said, “So many of us wish so deeply for the people we care most about to have the end-of-life experience that they want. But when the time comes for decisions to be made, so often we find that we don’t know what our loved ones desire. By asking those we love to wrestle with this question, we prompt ourselves to reflect on it as well. Death Over Dinner is a beginning to that conversation.”
During the GIFT Project workshop, presenter Ginny Erboe, RN, MSN from the GIFT Project said, “We only get one shot to make our exit the best death possible.” Comforting the audience with a personal story and her warm presence she added, “This isn’t supposed to be morbid or sad today.” In fact, the goal of the event was the exact opposite. By providing people with an opportunity to gain knowledge about what’s important to them in their final moments, especially if they are unable to make choices for themselves, is one of the most important things one can do for themselves and their loved ones.
On June 26 from 1-2:30 p.m., JFS is offering another end-of-life learning event titled “What is Shmirah” led by Gail Tosto. Tosto is a Jewish end-of-life doula, hospice volunteer, chevrah kadisha (Jewish burial society) volunteer, and founder of Austin Shmirah. Austin Shmirah, founded in 2010, is a city-wide network of local Jewish congregations and individual volunteers performing shmirah for the deceased of all denominations, including the unaffiliated. To register for the event, visit shalomaustin.org/shmirah.
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Shmirah is the Jewish tradition of lovingly accompanying the deceased between death and burial. To learn more visit shalomaustin.org/shmirah.
JFS is the professional human and social service branch of Shalom Austin and provides a wide array of mental health and support services to the Austin community, including counseling and psychotherapy, support groups, case management, community consultation and education programs. Shalom Austin Jewish Family Service serves people regardless of race, religion, disability, gender or sexual orientation. To learn more visit: shalomaustin.org/jfs
